Infant's abuse highlights stupidity of overnight visits with teen dads (Omaha, Nebraska)

Hey, I'm a good liberal. I assume I'm even card-carrying, though I can't find the card in my messy wallet filled with credit card receipts and all.

But you got to wonder about the great Liberal God of Education. How is "education" going to teach a 17-year-old dad like MARCUS BASS that you don't throw a baby down the stairs?? This isn't exactly a complicated rocket-science kind of lesson. You figure this is something most of us--if we had decent parents--picked up sometime in our preschool years. If you need to learn this in a class as a teenager--that it's not nice to throw people down the stairs, especially babies-- then I humbly suggest there is a whole lot more that's wrong with you than lack of "education."

And the problem isn't teen "parents" as such who don't consider adoption anymore--though Lord knows that many teen moms aren't exactly ready for the responsibilities of a baby either. (Still, for all her youth, Mom seemed to have the sense to know that you don't throw babies down the stairs or anywhere else.)

The big problem is father exaltation, where we assume that even babies "need" extended unsupervised overnight visits with their unmarried teen fathers. They don't, and there's not one credible shred of research showing that they do. If you scroll through Dastardly, you'll find all kinds of cases of babies that are severely injured or killed while on overnights or extended visits with an unmarried young father with no commitment to the mom or to the baby. It's utter insanity and needs to stop. If Dad is really that interested, he can come see the baby at Mom's house under Mom's or Grandma's watchful eye. Overnight visits can come later--if they need to come at all. And realize, too, that teen dads are the highest risk group there is for violent infant child abuse and we need to stop pretending otherwise.

http://www.wowt.com/news/headlines/70411557.html

Infant's Abuse Highlights Need For Parenting Education
Children's advocates say more needs to be done
Just shy of three months old, Jayden Roland is set to undergo brain surgery Thursday.
Posted: 5:34 PM Nov 18, 2009
Reporter: Jodi Baker

Just shy of three months old, Jayden Roland is set to undergo brain surgery Thursday.

Police say his father, 17 year-old Marcus Bass admitted to shaking Jayden, then throwing him down a flight of stairs. It allegedly happened during an overnight visit.

According to the Jayden’s mother, Kalli Rolland, Bass had just come off house arrest, and he was about to begin court-ordered parenting classes. However, the lessons would come too late. Bass will now be charged as an adult in the case.

Children’s advocates say there are many resources available to help young or ill-equipped parents. But, says Voices For Children Executive Director, Kathy Bigsby-Moore, “We think there are too many people pregnant and parenting that have not had access to the full array of information.”

Moore says 3% of babies in Omaha, like Jayden, are born to parents under the age of 18. She says intervention needs to begin earlier and be more consistent. “When they get information in 7th grade, they might think, oh well, that will never happen to me. You need to make sure when it does happen to them that they have access to the next stage of information that they need."

Voices For Children proposed that funding for public education be part of safe haven legislation two years ago. "Programs that would immediately lead to newborn visitation, parenting education. Unfortunately, none of those provisions were adopted."

She says it's something they will keep pushing for, impressing upon lawmakers, “A small amount of money spent up front usually saves large amounts of money later on.” Bigsby-Moore says the costs of medical care and prosecution far outweigh that upfront investment.

Meantime, classes for parents are available through organizations like Nebraska Children’s Home.

"We try very hard as do other agencies to make sure there's information out there through physicians' offices, through the schools," says Executive Director Karen Authier. Classes there range from prenatal, to baby talk and toddler talk.

The organization also provides counseling with unplanned pregnancies. But Authier points out fewer teenaged parents are opting for adoption these days. “What we’re finding is that the pressure is almost in the opposite direction. That if someone is pregnant and it’s a crisis in their lives to be pregnant, that they may be pressured by both their friends and their family members to parent that child even if they feel totally ill-equipped, unready, disinterested in doing that.”

Adoption was never a consideration for Kallie Roland. She knew she had her family’s support to care for Jayden. And she says she believed Jayden would be safe while visiting his father. "I don't know how anybody can do this to an innocent child."

She says Jayden has made progress in the five days he’s been hospitalized, moving, cooing and even smiling.

"He's only been here three months, and I don't want to see him go already,” she said through a sob, “I'm, I'm scared."

Roland is trying not to dwell on worst-case scenarios as the family prepares for Thursday’s surgery. It’s to relieve swelling in two different areas of Jayden’s brain. "I just turn off that mode and I just go into me and him time. He just makes me smile."

A fund has been established to help defray the baby's medical costs. Donations are being accepted at all U.S. Bank branches under the "Jayden M. Roland Fund."