Friday, December 20, 2013

Dad with history of domestic violence arrested on child abuse charges after 5-year-old son dies (Orange County, Florida)

A couple of things come to mind here.

1) I'm thinking it likely that dad DARELL AVANT SR. was either "babysitting" or a stay-at-home father. This, unfortunately, has become the default "career" for violent felons like this one. Nobody wants to hire these volatile @ssholes--that is assuming they even want to hold a job.

2) Too many women find themselves charmed by these narcissistic and criminal sociopaths. Contrary to the usual stereotype, these guys are more than capable of cleaning up nice and showing good manners--when it gets them to what they want. So the woman gets pregnant, only to find herself in a dangerous and violent situation. Perhaps she knew about his violent record, perhaps he sweet talked her into believing it was just some "lying bitches." Maybe he denied it all or covered up his record. At any rate, she now finds she is stuck with an employable/unemployed deadbeat that she can't leave. At least not very safely. So he ends up doing "child care" while she works.

3) If she makes the tactical error of letting him do "child care" she is really screwed. Even if you can come up with a solid safety plan for getting you and the kids out of the house with nobody getting hurt or killed, he's going to insist on child visitation at minimum or even full custody. The courts will force you to "facilitate" the process or find you an "alienator." The authorities will not care about his past record of domestic violence. They will either tell you that you are a liar, or that his "problems" with you have nothing to do with the children.

Which is ridiculous, because men who batter their partners are child abusers by default. They have hurt the real primary caretaker of the children (even working mothers end up doing most of the nurturing and day-to-day caretaking), which leaves kids nervous and traumatized. And that's not even factoring in that batterers are at very high risk for physical and sexual abuse of the children as well--even if they (apparently) haven't done it. Yet.

Unfortunately, the father's aforementioned charm (the charm of a sociopath) will aid him here, while the woman will come across as frazzled, stresssed, and worn out.

4) The kind of violent scenario described below is becoming distressingly common. Guys like this need to be locked up  or diverted into supervised work programs where they can't hurt women and children. Moms need to have adequate maternity leaves, salaries, affordable childcare, and general resource support so they can survive without these dudes. And stop giving dudes like this custodial rights that they can use to threaten the mother with.

5) And finally, the public needs to stop blaming desperate working moms for these kinds of outcomes. Especially when there are too often no real alternatives for them to leave.

6) And we need to stop with the double standards. If a mother hurt or killed her child, nobody would blame the father at work. Or even the father who had abandoned them, even one who knew for a fact that the mother had mental health and or drug/alcohol problems or some other history that might make her a poor parent.

Man arrested on child abuse charges after 5-year-old dies

Published On: Dec 19 2013 04:48:46 PM EST
Updated On: Dec 20 2013 06:48:31 AM EST

Orange County deputies have arrested a man they say abused his 5-year-old son, who later died.

ORANGE COUNTY, Fla. - Orange County deputies have arrested a man they say abused his 5-year-old son, who later died.

Darell Avant Sr., 26, has been charged with child abuse after deputies say he punished his 5-year-old son on Wednesday for misbehaving in school. Avant said the boy had recently been suspended from Pershing Elementary school for kicking a teacher.

According to the report, Avant brought his son back to their apartment where Avant spanked his son several times and ordered him to do push-ups and squats for 20 minutes.

Avant then told his son to take a shower and sometime after that, his son passed out face down, deputies said. After 25 minutes, Avant called a friend over to help and the friend began to do CPR.

When deputies arrived, the child was dead and had bruises on his torso, back and arms.

Deputies said more charges could be coming but they are waiting for the autopsy report to show a cause and manner of death.

Deputies spoke to the child's mother who says the boy didn't have any brusies on him when he went to school Wedensday morning.

Records show Avant has a history of domestic violence and has had 13 prior arrests, ranging from aggravated battery on a pregnant person to grand theft charges.