Dad slaughters two kids with shotgun, bludgeons mom to death; was in "bitter custody battle" with mom (Cross River, New York)

This is practically a fathers rights press release.

Another newspaper article that argues why we must feel really, really sorry for dad SAM FRIELANDER--who brutally murdered three people: his own two young children and his "estranged" wife.

As for feeling sorrow for the mom and kids? Maybe not so much. No, we're going to devote a good part of the article to waxing lyrical about the killer daddy's hurt feelings. Not the fear and terror that his victims must have lived with. 'Cause after all, they're just a woman and her kids and they don't matter as much as the Tortured Male Hero.  

Let's examine how this narrative is set up, shall we?

1) Notice that only a perfuctory nod is given to the mother "feeling" threatened by Dad. Well, I'd say that subsequent events proved that this "feeling" was completely legitimate. In fact, Mom WAS threatened--not just "feeling" that way--but you don't see that validated here. No, Mom's perspective is turned into just a subjective stance, not an accurate assessment of reality. But this is often done to women. Everything is just their personal "opinion"--even when there's evidence to document the so-called opinion.

2) Notice that we don't see any hint that this so-called "nasty bitter divorce" and "bitter custody battle" were in fact being perpetrated by this passive-aggressive mass killer. The language suggests mutuality, but in the end, the violence was completely one-sided except for Mom's feeble and unsuccessful attempts at self-defense. But of course, that inconvenient fact and how that relates to previous "battles" is ignored as well. It is automatically assumed that Daddy played no "leadership" role role in all this prior to committing familicide, which is ridiculous.

3) We see mentioned that the police were once called to the house over an "argument," but we're assured there was no domestic violence. It is utter nonsense to assume there was no domestic violence based on an apparent lack of police contact. Upper-income women, if anything, are more reluctant than most women to call the police. Especially when your husband is connected to the justice system (Daddy was a lawyer). In fact, this article doesn't even make a weak attempt to establish whether domestic violence previously existed in the home--we just go with the police denials with no additional commentary from anyone with any real expertise in domestic violence. 

But in reality? If we read between the lines, Daddy is a classic control-freak abuser who mowed down three people in cold blood rather than lose his iron grip over their lives. How "mopey" he acted is really not that significant in the final analysis.

4) What we DO see, apart from the usual efforts to neutralize who committed what criminal act against whom, is MOTHER BLAMING.

Let's break that down.

1) We see Mom blamed for turning the kids against Daddy--the dad, who, by the way, did eventually snuff out their lives with a shotgun, but I guess that's just that inconvenient truth again. Nope, we're talking ALIENATION! Scream it louder! Bring in the PAS Pushers! MOM was the one who made Daddy "snap!" (The thoroughly discredited "snap" myth is resurrected once again. But notice how ridiculous this is. The mother was clearly terrified of this man, and couldn't get him out of the house. There was plenty of advance warning that this guy was dangerous, but the authorities chose to ignore it.)

ALIENATION AND SNAPPING ARE FATHERS RIGHTS MYTHS.

2) We see ad nauseum how "emotionally tormented" this killer was. Yada yada. How the killer was "devoted" to his kids. What crap. Irrelevant, ridiculous crap.

3) And in a barely disguised anti-Semitic rant, notice how Mom is smeared as a nagging Jewish mother, who berated and belittled her poor husband until--what? He had no choice but to beat her to death? More utterly disgusting bull crap.

Why do we even bother with interviewing the enabling friends and family members of mass killers? They just spout the usual self-serving lies and spin. And it's totally disrespectful to the victims and their surviving loved ones.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2051395/Amy-Friedlander-scared-New-York-attorney-husband-Sam.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

Thursday, Oct 20 2011 6PM

Attorney who bludgeoned wife to death, shot his children and himself in horrific suburban murder suicide captured on camera hours before killing spree

By Rachel Quigley

Last updated at 5:01 PM on 20th October 2011

'Power couple' were said to be going through a 'nasty bitter divorce'

Children shot in torso with 12-gauge shotgun and wife bludgeoned to death

Amy Friedlander, 46, a former VP for Chase Manhattan bank, tried to get her husband to move out and felt 'threatened'

Sam Friedlander, 50, an attorney, believed his wife was turning his kids against him

Close friend said marriage was 'rocky from the beginning'

Gruesome and bloody crime shocked 'perfect suburban neighbourhood'

The woman who was bludgeoned to death by her estranged husband in a horrific suburban murder-suicide felt threatened by him and had been trying to get him to move out of their four-bedroom family home, according to her family.

Amy Friedlander, 46, was beaten to death by her husband of 11 years Sam, after a violent struggle where she tried to defend herself with a table leg. He then shot his two children in their beds before turning the gun on himself at their Westchester home.

Amy's father, Gary Perez, said the couple had been going through a nasty and bitter divorce and tensions had been high recently.

Calm before the storm: Attorney Sam Friedlander is captured on surveillance camera inside a deli just hours before he 'snapped' and murdered his wife and children before killing himself
Happier times: Sam Friedlander (centre) shot and killed his wife (not pictured), daughter Molly, 10, (left) and Gregory, 8, (right) with a shotgun before killing himself. The couple were reportedly in the midst of a bitter custody battle Power couple: Amy and Sam Friedlander were going through a 'nasty and bitter divorce' neighbours say

He said: 'She did feel threatened, but she couldn't get him out of the house. He just refused to leave.'

Tensions reached boiling point on Monday night when Sam Friedlander 'snapped' and carried out the gruesome and bloody murders.

Police believe that the 50-year-old confronted his wife in the master bedroom of the spacious colonial-style home and a violent struggle ensued. She tried to defend herself with a table leg, which was found lying next to her brutally beaten body.

At one point he went into the bedrooms of his children - Molly, ten and Gregory, eight - and shot them in the stomach with a 12-gauge shotgun while they lay in bed. He covered them with a blanket and went to the basement of the $800,000 home where he shot himself.

Conflicting stories have emerged about what took place in their home while the Friedlander marriage dissolved in the 'perfect' suburban neighbourhood, where Mrs Friedlander had just started a tutoring business.

Friends of the lawyer described him as 'emotionally tormented and increasingly isolated' as he feared his wife was trying to turn his children against him.

Describing him as a 'devoted father', they believe something inside of him 'snapped' after years of enduring constant belittling and berating from his wife in their 'toxic relationship'.

They say both she and her parents tried to alienate the children from Mr Friedlander.

Michael Borg, 47, of Long Island, who met the attorney as a fellow law student at Western New England College School of Law in the mid-1980s, told LoHud.com: 'I can't make excuses for what he did, but I know something must have snapped in him. It must have been a living hell in that house.'

David Pine - who went to the same law school - said he last saw him when they both attended Mr Borg's son's bar mitzvah last year.

The 49-year-old said: 'He looked like an emotionally beaten man. There came a point in time when he isolated himself from his friends. He went into his own cocoon, and we weren't able to get through to him.

'I can't put a handle on why he would take the lives of his kids. But whatever it was was a result of years of emotional torment that he must have went through in that household.'

Friends and family of Amy, 46, paint a different story.

Her father told the Wall street Journal: 'She's just terrific. I mean I'm sure everybody's father says that. But her students loved her. The parents loved her. Every one of her friends.'

A partner in John Jay Prep, a tutoring service that prepares high schoolers to get into their first-choice colleges, parents of the students she taught spoke highly of her.

Marian Vitale of South Salem said her family was very upset by the slayings.

'She was a lovely woman,' Mrs Vitale told LoHud.com. 'She was highly motivating, and my son loved going there.'

Her business partner Deborah Bernstein posted a message on the business' website: 'We are deeply saddened by the tragic loss of Amy Friedlander and her children Molly and Gregory. Amy was not only a business partner but a personal friend and loving mother. She will be truly missed by us and the community at large.'

Long-time members of the Jewish Family Congregation in South Salem, staff described her as 'involved'.

Unhappy: An anonymous friend of Sam Friedlander, pictured far right, said the marriage was 'rocky from the beginning' but said Sam would never hurt his children

Lewisboro Elementary School: Students here are being counselled after the deaths of Gregory, eight, and Molly, ten

Education Director Leslie Gottlieb said: 'She baked cookies and latkes, whatever we needed and whenever. She was one of those moms I could call in a minute and she would help.'

A neighbour described her as 'always cheerful and a hands-on mother'.

The couple, who were said to be struggling with financial problems, were due in court today on a child support matter.

They had been trying to sell the home, which they bought in 2002 for $737,500 and was listed at $799,000. The 5-month-old listing was cancelled yesterday, according to LoHud.com.

They took a second, $100,000 mortgage out on the house in 2005, according to county property records.

Rabbi Carla Freeman said she knew the family was undergoing personal trauma with their money and marriage, but said when she saw the children last week they seemed to be coping fine.

'The children were delightful and extremely happy in spite of what was going on at home.

'I never saw them unhappy to be with either one of them. It just shatters the sense of who we are and where we live,' she told the Wall Street Journal.

Police are still trying to piece together the horrific crime scene and they still do not know who Mr Friedlander killed first.

It did not appear as if his children, who were students at Lewisboro Elementary School, struggled before they were shot. It is not known whether or not they were sleeping when they were killed in their respective bedrooms.

The results of toxicology and autopsy reports are expected to shed more light on the 'fairly complex' crime scene.

State police Major Michael Kopy said at a news conference yesterday: 'We believe a struggle occurred and Amy was bludgeoned in the bedroom. It was clearly a very violent assault and a struggle that cost her her life.'

He said friends of the family and colleagues of Mr Friedlander noticed he had been acting strangely in recent weeks.

Officials estimated the deaths occurred between midnight and 1am. The couple spoke with a friend at 8:30pm, the last known conversations with people outside the house, officials said.

Police said there were no reports of domestic violence at the residence but that they were called there once in 2006 over an argument about the children.

Abid Hussain, who lives near the Friedlanders, said the parents were devoted to their children.

'I used to see the mom and father putting them on the bus, they had beautiful kids,' he told The Post. 'The father was always playing with the kids outside.

'People are traumatised that this could happen in our perfect neighbourhood.'

Mr Friedlander attended Skidmore College received a law degree magna cum laude from Western New England College. He was a member of the New York state bar.

His wife, formerly Amy Perez, graduated cum laude from Cornell University and received an M.B.A. from the University of Pennsylvania.

The couple married at The Four Seasons Hotel in Philadelphia in May, 2000. Town Supervisor Charles Duffy said grief counsellors and social workers would be on-hand on Wednesday to help any students at the school.

He said: 'It’s a tragedy for the community. The best we can do is support our children and help them through this.

'They’ll need it when something like this happens in a tight-knit community. We have to hug them a little tighter tonight.'