Dad kills mom in front of teen sons; though divorced, she wanted him to "have a relationship with his children" (Southington, Connecticut)

I get so tired of hearing the murder of mothers being referrred to as just some inexplicable "tragedy."  The killer dad, NURIJA MEHOVIC, had a history of domestic violence. Mom feared that she (or her kids) would be killed. At one time, she had a restraining order, but "recanted" (e.g. feared she had no choice but to recant) so killer daddy could have a "relationship with his children." Deadbeat daddy was also behind on his child support, but Mom didn't push that matter either. In other words, our institutionalized system of "involving" divorced violent fathers in the lives of their ex-wives and kids continue to put innocent people at severe risk. But you won't see that explored here.

This abused mom bent over backwards to accommodate this guy on custody and child support matters. And it didn't matter one damn whit. He killed her anyway. So much for all the fathers rights crap about daddies getting "angry" because they get such a raw deal. In reality, they are coddled every step of the way. And that still doesn't prevent all the daddy drama bloodletting they get so excited about.

Maybe, just maybe, this mom would still be alive if the restraining order had remained in force and this POS had been cut out of the picture.

http://www.myrecordjournal.com/southington/article_e529e9ae-953b-11e0-8738-001cc4c002e0.html

Neighborhood, town struggle to cope with tragedy

Posted: Sunday, June 12, 2011 5:18 pm | Updated: 11:59 pm, Sun Jun 12, 2011.

Richie Rathsack and Mary Ellen Godin Record-Journal

SOUTHINGTON — Flowers covered the front porch of a house at 47 West St. Sunday afternoon, the only thing indicating anything out of the ordinary had happened in the quiet neighborhood that had been shocked by a murder-suicide one day earlier.

Cars normally speed through the area, headed for Interstate 84 a short distance away, but on Sunday many drivers slowed down as they passed the house where police say Nurija Mehovic shot and stabbed his ex-wife, Saudina, in front of their two teenage sons Saturday morning. He then fled to a wooded area behind the house and shot himself, police said.

The 37-year-old mother “feared for her life and that of her children,” according to Attorney Theodore J. Wurz of Plainville, whom Saudina Mehovic hired in September 2009 during the couple’s divorce proceedings. The couple had two teenage children, Emir, 14, and Haris, 16.

“There was a threat of imminent violence, and she said he had a gun hidden somewhere in the house,” Wurz said Sunday. “It surprised me that he went through with it, but I’m not shocked.”

He said his client reported a history of domestic violence so he sought a restraining order to have Nurija Mehovic removed from the home. He said Saudina Mehovic was tired of her husband’s “controlling jealousy.”

In May 2010, Nurija Mehovic was arrested for violating the restraining order, and Saudina Mehovic recanted some of her concerns so he could see the children. The restraining order dissolved when the divorce was finalized in July 2010, Wurz said, because Nurija was no longer in the home.

“She was a nice, passive person,” Wurz said. “She was being easy on him so he could have a relationship with his children.”

Money was an ongoing problem for the Mehovics. Wurz described Nurija Mehovic as a former factory worker who had been injured on the job and had collected a compensation settlement. His wife would try to find odd jobs for him, but Wurz said Nurija Mehovic never accepted them.

The court found him in contempt for failure to pay child support, but Saudina Mehovic did not want to press the matter, Wurz said. In April, a court ordered one of the family’s properties in town to be sold, Wurz said.

“He was a strange character,” Wurz said. “He was cocky in that over-polite way of being sarcastic.”

On Saturday, Nurija Mehovic came to the house to pick up the boys to get their passports renewed ahead of a trip to Europe planned for next month, said Eli Grenier, 15, a longtime friend of Haris Mehovic. He said Haris Mehovic tried to intervene but was pushed to the side by his father. Both boys watched as he shot their mother and then stabbed her in the neck, Eli said.

Haris Mehovic called Grenier before police arrived, Grenier said, since his mother is a nurse and he thought she could help.

“When he called me, I thought he was joking. I said, ‘Haris, are you being dead serious?’ He said, ‘I think my dad just killed my mom,’ ” Grenier said.

Police said Nurija Mehovic went into a wooded area in back of the house and shot himself.

Grenier called his parents, who immediately picked him up and took him to the Mehovics’ home. He said his friends were pale and shaking when he arrived. Both parents were still alive when taken away in an ambulance.

“For an hour and a half, we didn’t know if they were alive or dead. Haris was trying to be strong for his brother but they were both in shock. I could not stay stable. I think I cried more than they did,” Grenier said.

As residents, many of them young friends of the Mehovic boys, struggle to make sense of the incident, School Superintendent Joseph V. Erardi Jr. said counselors will be available at the schools impacted by the event.

“It’s such a tragedy. We will offer ongoing counseling throughout the day tomorrow to any student who feels the need to come down and express concern or opinions,” Erardi said Sunday.

Emir Mehovic attends Kennedy Middle School, Haris Mehovic Southington High School, Erardi said. Staff at Plantsville School will also be prepared to answer questions if the children there have questions about the police presence behind their school over the weekend, he said.

Grenier and friends Ryan Perez and Nick Ingel are organizing a fundraiser for the boys next Saturday at Rita’s Ice Cream. So far, the show of support has been incredible, Eli said, with more than 800 people saying they will show up. The plan is to create a bank account with the funds specifically for Emir and Haris Mehovic.

“I hope he knows about it, if nothing else just to let him know the support he has behind him,” Grenier said of his friend Haris Mehovic. “They are great kids. I’m going to try to be there as much as possible for them to make sure they stay that way. Hopefully, I will be able to see them again soon.”

Relatives of the family in Plainville, where the two boys are temporarily staying, tearfully declined to comment Sunday afternoon.