Children being killed by violent "parents" (South Africa)

I have highlighted in bold some of the cases and major points. Note that the "parents" language is actually misleading: the perpetrators listed below include dads, boyfriends, girlfriends, stepmoms-but not moms, at least in these cases. The article does emphasize how much of child homicide is male anger at a woman that's redirected toward her children, a point that is not often made in the mainstream media.

http://www.timeslive.co.za/opinion/editorials/article136285.ece

Children caught in the crossfire of warring parents
Oct 4, 2009 12:28 AM By Claire Keeton

Another View: South Africa's alarming child homicide rate reveals how babies, toddlers and teenagers are used as weapons in wars between their parents, writes Claire Keeton

In Johannesburg in August, just 24 hours apart, one man set alight a toddler and a young boy, while another burnt to death baby twins. Both attacks were aimed at hurting the women in their lives following failed relationships. Similarly, last month an East Rand father shot dead his toddlers, two and three years old, before killing himself.

It is not only men who target the children of their partners. Dina Rodrigues from Cape Town hired hit men to kill her boyfriend's six-month-old baby; an Mpumalanga nurse infected her stepson, three, with HIV-positive blood through an injection.

The list is far too long.

Before you zone out, thinking your relationship is safe or that you do not have your own kids to protect, think again. All of us - family members, friends, neighbours, friends and the state - have failed to protect the four children killed on an average every day by murderous, jealous or stressed adults (1410 between 2007 and 2008).

South Africa's child homicide rate is twice as high as other low-income countries, the Lancet journal reported in August. More than half of the partners of abused women have threatened to kill their children, found a Western Cape study by Kate Joyner from the University of Stellenbosch. About a third of children have witnessed family members intentionally hurting each other with weapons, according to a survey released this week by the Centre for Justice and Crime Prevention. And one in 12 children feels fearful at home, its national survey in 2005 found.

Domestic disputes must be defused long before they explode. Violence against children, both targeted and unintentional, seems to be getting worse. The Red Cross Children's Hospital in Cape Town treats many "shield injuries" - when children get caught in the crossfire between warring adults.

Joan van Niekerk, national co-ordinator of Childline South Africa, explained: "Parents pick up children to protect themselves or the children, and the children get hurt. There have been many of these cases lately. This is a huge, huge problem."

As parents, we need to think about the way our actions cascade down on our children. Mothers and fathers should simply never assume that furious partners would not throw boiling oil or a bottle or use a knife because a child is a barrier. They can, and do.

Van Niekerk said adults often viewed children as an extension of themselves, or their partners, when they fought. "If you hurt them, you hurt the partner. There is no sense of a child as a person in their own right needing protection," she said.

Cati Vawda, director of the Children's Rights Centre in Durban, agreed. "Parents see their partner's face or ears in their children. These are very intimate, complex connections."

She said this view should be counterbalanced by a "strong children's rights culture in the family".
Children's rights are absent in many families, as well as in South African society in general. A probation officer argued in court last week that a policeman who shot dead his three sleeping children should not be jailed. At least the prosecutor raged against this: "He committed three murders, murders of his own children, and what makes it worse is that he did it with a specific goal - to punish his wife."

Professor Rachel Jewkes, head of the gender and health research unit at the Medical Research Council, said: "(Attacking children) is about punishment of the woman usually, as an extreme expression of anger - the same dynamic seen in the Baby Tshepang rape case in Upington, where the mother's boyfriend did it."

Mothers, fathers and relatives should watch out for threats and abuse by partners in the home.

Liz Dooley, the director of Famsa in Johannesburg, said: "People in a violent relationship must recognise that it can be dangerous not just for themselves, but also for the children."

Many children are torn between their parents in disputes over access and custody. These are not violent but fall within the same spectrum - adults putting themselves, instead of their children, first. Childline South Africa supports not only children coping with physical harm but also those suffering from emotional trauma. As Van Niekerk explained: "With the physical casualties we see the wounds - the burns and blood. But there is also a lot of emotional damage."

The highest number of cases dealt with by the Children's Rights Centre, about 200 a year, concerned custody battles. But legally, mothers or fathers cannot use their children as ammunition in their emotional dramas. If he or she restricts regular access to the other parent without a legitimate reason, they are committing an offence under the Children's Act of 2005, which was amended in 2007.

South Africa has a clear need to expand and fund programmes that we know do work. The economic recession has cranked up levels of stress, anxiety and anger, putting children even more at risk. All of us can reach out to families who are under stress, isolated or not coping. Let us give them support. Teachers should watch out for withdrawn, anxious and angry children, as well as those with bruises and injuries.

As Nelson Mandela said: "There can be no keener revelation of a society's soul than the way in which it treats its children." Let us put children first.

•Adults can get counselling and support from Lifeline on 0861 322 322.
•Children can call Childline for free on 0800055555. The helpline is operational 24 hours a day.