Britain's laziest dad manages to still work the system (Kent, England, United Kingdom)

I'm sure that this article about lazy dad PHIL FENDICK is intended to be a humor piece, but why is the council (the rough equivalent of a local housing authority in the U.S.) putting him up in a hotel next door to his girlfriend and their kids? Despite his so-called laziness, this dad seems to know how to work all the angles.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2009/07/25/why-does-she-put-up-with-him-115875-21546330/

Britain's laziest man waited on hand and foot by ex-girlfriend

By Melissa Thompson 25/07/2009

EXCLUSIVE: He won't get a job, lives in a hotel and watches TV or plays video games all day
Layabout Phil Fendick jokingly describes himself as a real-life Homer Simpson - but Britain's laziest man actually makes the slobby cartoon dad look like a workaholic.

And it is certainly no laughing matter for his put-upon partner Marie Harden.

Dad-of-four Phil doesn't work because he can't be bothered applying for a job. He spends his days sprawled across an unmade bed, watching telly and playing computer games.

Even microwaving a ready-made meal is too much effort for him, as is reading his two young sons a bedtime story.

It is left to Marie, 23, to look after their boys, pay his bills and make his meals - even though they no longer live together.

She kicked 38-year-old Phil out of their council flat in Margate, Kent, when she caught him sending sex texts to another woman eight months ago.

But was being thrown out on his ear the wake-up call Phil needed? Did it inspire him to do everything he could to find work, fend for himself and prove he was worthy?

Nope. Instead, loafer Phil managed to convince the council to put him up in a hotel NEXT DOOR, so his downtrodden girlfriend could still cook all his meals. He says: "Marie's cooking is all right. Her stew is quite nice and her meat and suet pudding isn't too bad.

"I get her to freeze my dinner and pop around and have it when I need a feed.

"Marie gave me a microwave so I could cook myself, but I'm normally too tired.

"I lost a lot of weight when I first moved in because the mini-bar is too small and the cooking facilities are in the basement, which is a long way off and uncomfortable. Why should I walk all that way when I could just go next door to Marie's when I'm hungry?"

Pampered Phil does little to repay all Marie's efforts. In fact, when she asks for help with their sons - Joseph, three, and 18-month-old Jayden - he feels affronted.

Stifling a yawn and idly flicking through the TV channels he moans: "Marie relies on me too much.

"I'll just be settling down to watch the TV or play on my Xbox and she will call, asking me to go next door to read the kids a bedtime story or tuck them in, so I have to trek all the way back downstairs.

"It gives me the hump because I'm trying to relax by watching TV and playing on the computer. In a way I wish I hadn't bothered convincing the council to put me up in this hotel."

Poor Marie. You wonder why she puts up with him. But if the situation bothers her, she rarely says so - and when she does speak out she usually ends up regretting it.

Marie admits: "Sometimes I shout at Phil to get off his butt because I think he should be supporting his children. But then I end up apologising.

"Phil is the dad of my children so I'd never let him go hungry. If he wants something specific for dinner he'll ask me to get it while I'm at the supermarket. He likes my stew, so I cook that for him. I feel bad when I see him looking skinny.

"I know he tries looking for jobs on his computer because he tapped into my internet - last month the internet bill was £200. But I don't feel used.

"I'm just a generous person and don't hold a grudge. But it would be nice to feel appreciated once in a while."

Running after the children and doing all the housework means Marie barely has time to stop for a cuppa most days. Meanwhile, on the other side of the wall, Phil is lounging around watching daytime TV among a tangle of dirty laundry.

"I just don't feel like doing anything," he explains, with a shrug. "Although sometimes I go down the pub for a beer, just to be polite to my mates."