Yet another candlelight vigil--when will mothers have the RIGHT to a safe existence? (Blount County, Tennessee)

The general public would like to think that the leniency this woman's abusive UNNAMED DAD received at the hands of the police is a relic of the past. That women and children can get safe now by leaving the abuser and getting the "appropriate" services. That no mother would ever be forced to kill her abuser in order to protect her children. Unfortunately, as regular Dastardly readers know, this is all wishful thinking.

Candlelight vigils are all well and good. But mothers have to demand the right for safety and security for themselves and their children. And if the police and the legal system won't arrest or jail these guys (without bail), if the system won't grant the mothers sole custody with no visitation rights for the abuser, then moms should demand the right to basic self-defense.

http://www.thedailytimes.com/article/20101024/WOMEN/310249997

Get informed: Candlelight Vigil draws attention to domestic violence
By Linda Braden Albert
lindaba@thedailytimes.com
Originally published: October 24. 2010 3:01AM
Last modified: October 23. 2010 3:53PM

October brings cool weather, colorful leaves, football fever and something else most of us don't want to think about: domestic violence awareness.

Ignoring the problem won't make it go away.

On Tuesday, the Blount County Task Force Against Domestic Violence will hold its annual Candlelight Vigil at the Blount County Justice Center. Judy Humphrey, a member of the Task Force Steering Committee, explained why.

“October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. The vigil is held to remember those have suffered and died from domestic violence, but also to celebrate those who have survived,” she said. “It is to recognize agencies that work to end violence or provide assistance to those involved in violent situations, such as law enforcement agencies, safe houses, counselors, etc. The slogan is ‘Get Informed. Get Active.'”

Humphrey said the goal of the vigil is to reach the community to insure that people know and understand that domestic violence is not a private matter.

“It is a critical problem in our community as well as our nation, and it affects us all — in homes, in schools, in work places,” she said. “It is important to remember that domestic violence includes child abuse, sex abuse, elder abuse and teen dating violence.”

Through a child's eyes

Tracy Whitaker, local author and children's educator, will speak about the impact of domestic violence on children and also how the cycle can be stopped. She will give personal testimony of her family's domestic violence downward spiral as told through the eyes of a child.

Whitaker was born into a large family in Sarasota, Fla., the fifth of seven children. She said via telephone interview that even as a little girl, she noticed early on the violent behavior exhibited by her father, particularly toward her mother.

“I would call the police and beg them to take him to jail,” she recalled. “They told me they couldn't unless they actually saw him hit her.”

Her father's means of discipline for her brothers was with his fists and his belt. She was his favorite and did not experience the physical abuse, but shortly before his death, when Whitaker was 15, he attacked her. The reason: He knew she was avoiding being at home, and he knew she was pulling away from him. The attack took place in a public area, at which time he forced her into his truck and threatened her repeatedly on the drive to their home. Whitaker said, “I knew if he got me in the house, I was done for.” She was able to escape and outrun him.

Only a few months later, Whitaker's mother, who had always passively endured the abuse, had had enough.

“She ended up killing him,” Whitaker said.

In 2002, Whitaker published her first book, The Truth Behind The Walls,” and has recently released “Tara's Trial of Isolation.” She has served as a special guest and speaker on radio, television and at community events. Her primary focus is to reach families and understand violence from the perspective of a child. By educating people through her testimonial autobiography, she encourages mothers, fathers and children to live their lives without violence.

Clothesline Project

October is dedicated to a more visible awareness of domestic violence, and the Clothesline Project is one such way to do so. It is displayed annually at the Candlelight Vigil and has also been displayed in many venues across Blount County, including Maryville College, Blount Memorial Hospital, local schools and at the Blount County Justice Center. The project began in Blount County in 1997.

During the public display, a clothesline is hung with shirts, each of which is decorated to represent a particular woman's experience. Shirts, blouses or T-shirts of durable material are the canvases for the victims' stories to be illustrated, both in words and with images. Any remembrance is appropriate, whether the maker chooses to simply paint or to sew elaborate embroidery. The survivor herself may create a shirt, or it may be done by a family member or friend.

The shirts' colors indicate what type of violence the victim endured. White is for women who died as a result of violence; yellow or beige is for women who have been battered or assaulted; red, pink or orange represent women who have been raped or sexually assaulted; blue or green represent women survivors of incest or child sexual abuse; purple or lavender denotes women attacked because of their sexual orientation.

For information about the Clothesline Project, contact Monica Aistrop, a credentialed domestic violence advocate with the Blount County District Attorney's Office, at mlaistrop@tndagc.org.