Court decision turns woman into 'gypsy', as abusive father takes custody of her son (Malta)

These days, stories like this are heard all over the world, as abusive fathers become increasingly adept at stripping protective mothers of their children. The corruption and secrecy accompanying the family court proceedings also goes hand in hand with all this. This story is from the little island nation of Malta.

http://www.timesofmalta.com/articles/view/20100510/local/court-decision-turns-woman-into-gypsy

Monday, 10th May 2010

Court decision turns woman into 'gypsy'
Woman spends lonely Mother's Day
Claudia Calleja

Lara* could not spend Mother's Day with her son yesterday because the court granted her child's temporary care and custody to the father who had walked out of their lives some years ago.

"I feel as though the court stripped me of my motherhood by allowing my child to live with his father and his lover. A part of me also feels betrayed by my son for accepting to be with him after I did so much for the child, including living in a violent marriage for years to keep our family together," she says, battling to hold back tears.

Lara explains how, throughout their marriage, she filed several police reports after her husband beat her. Policemen often turned up at her door, following her desperate phone calls, but she never followed up the reports in court because she ended up forgiving him.

"I wanted to protect my young son and wanted our family together," she says. As the boy started growing up, Lara realised she could not take the abuse any longer and the road to separation began. The introduction of domestic violence legislation helped her pluck up the courage she needed to say "stop".

According to court documents, the Family Court heard how, some years ago, Lara's husband left the matrimonial house and showed little interest in their son. Eventually, after producing her police reports against her husband in court, she got a temporary court ruling giving her care and custody of her son and allowing her to stay in the matrimonial home.

As mediation proceedings drag-ged on for years, the couple moved to separation proceedings.

"Despite his lucrative business in the medical field, I did not want money other than help with our son's maintenance. All I wanted was my child and to close that chapter in my life," she says. All seemed to be going well until the father started showing interest in the child again and demanding to spend more time with him. The boy's attitude towards his mother started changing as he spent more time with his father.

Then, a few weeks ago, court officials knocked at Lara's door to inform her she would have to leave the matrimonial house following a temporary judgment handed down in the separation proceedings. Her husband had filed an application asking for the house and custody of their son. Both requests were temporarily granted.

Lara has now appealed the court decision and is protesting about the fact she was not informed about the father's application. She is claiming the court gave its ruling without listening to her after the application was filed.

A separation lawyer explained that it was not common for this to happen adding that one had to keep in mind that the court may have decided on previously submitted documents and evidence.
"Suddenly, I ended up without a roof over my head and my son was taken away... I can only see him for a few hours on the weekend... Right now I'm so hurt and traumatised by the court decision that I'm unable to see my son. I have no place where I can take him because I'm living like a gypsy... But I know how easily my husband can manipulate people, so am not surprised that he managed to also manipulate my own flesh and blood against me," she says.

*Names and personal details have been changed to protect identities.