This probably won't be the most dastardly of dads that you'll read about today. But dad RICHARD J. NAZARETH is typical of a lot of the idiots who get visitation these days, with the mother pretty much helpless to do anything about it. This nitwit was apparently doing his own home version of Holy Communion with a little pot thrown in for good measure--all with the kids' full participation, of course. These are the kinds of abuses that the authorities routinely ignore and that mothers are villified for even bringing up. Of course, if you KNEW the kids were drinking wine ( or, um, "the blood of Christ") and smoking marijuana at Dad's, but didn't report it, you would be accused of child neglect. So you can't win for losing.
Just wondering. Is this guy's last name really Nazareth? Sort of like Richard of Nazareth? Hmm.
http://www.cbs12.com/news/children-4725779-told-police.html
Man arrested for forcing his children to drink wine, smoke pot
April 27, 2010 2:51 PM
FORT PIERCE -- A 38-year-old was arrested for forcing his children to drink wine and smoke pot.
Richard J. Nazareth, of 4225 SW Elba Street, is charged with child abuse after his children, ages 9 and 11, told police he made them drink wine, calling it the "blood of Jesus Christ."
Nazareth is also accused of making his 11-year-old son smoke pot with him, calling it "God's herb" and the children told police the boy became so sick, he could not go to school Monday.
When the children returned home from visiting their father, they told their mother, who called police.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Dad sentenced to 12 years in prison for smothering infant son, leaving mother for dead (Cornwall, Ontario, Canada)
Dad CARSON DAY has been sentenced to a minimum of 12 years in prison for smothering to death his infant son, and slitting the throat of the infant's mother, who was left for dead. Good old Canada--so tough on child killers and batterers. NOT.
http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/Crime/2010/04/26/13732426-qmi.html
April 27, 2010
Man who killed son to serve at least 12 years
Akwesasne man smothered infant after trying to kill wife
By DAVID NESETH, QMI Agency
CORNWALL — A 23-year-old Akwesasne man who murdered his infant son and left his wife for dead won’t be eligible for parole for at least 15 years, a judge has ruled.
Carson Day pleaded guilty last December to the second-degree murder of his son, 20-month-old Landon, by smothering him at their Cornwall Island apartment in the early morning hours of July 14, 2007.
Landon's murder happened shortly after the attempted murder of the baby's 19-year-old mother, who Day admitted to slashing across the neck with a knife.
Day then slit his own wrists in a failed suicide attempt, the court heard.
Justice Johanne Lafrance-Cardinal sentenced Day to a seven-year concurrent sentence for the attempted murder.
Taking into account Day’s pretrial custody, he may be eligible for parole on July 14, 2022.
Lafrance-Cardinal shared extensive details with the court about Day’s background from a pre-sentence report. It depicted Day as a smuggler who could pocket between $5,000 - $30,000 each month.
“There was too much of everything — drugs, power and woman [sic],” Day told officials for the report.
The report often warned about the allure of the smuggling trade for young people like Day in Akwesasne. It referred to the “ill-conceived justification” of the lifestyle because of its deep roots in trade and commerce within First Nations culture. The smuggling trade, the report said, creates many “pitfalls” for youth.
According to the report, Day developed an addiction to OxyContin, a habit that progressed to 10 to 15 pills per day.
He was kicked out of school in Grade 9 for drug use, the report stated.
Day had been trying to beat his drug habit, but the court heard how he soon found himself wrapped up in an extramarital affair. His common-law life had contracted a sexually-transmitted disease through him and his new partner.
The court heard how Day grew more and more removed from friends and family, convinced that he’d made his entire family sick.
“He was afraid they were all sick, that the baby was sick,” the report stated.
According to the pre-sentence report, Day had attempted to commit suicide at least twice leading up to the night he killed his son and tried to kill his wife.
Akwesasne Mohawk Police found an HIV information pamphlet and a suicide note from Day at the scene, Lafrance-Cardinal said.
After the police arrived at the scene, Day charged the officers with a knife, shouting for them to shoot him. He was shocked with a Taser four times and placed into custody.
http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/Crime/2010/04/26/13732426-qmi.html
April 27, 2010
Man who killed son to serve at least 12 years
Akwesasne man smothered infant after trying to kill wife
By DAVID NESETH, QMI Agency
CORNWALL — A 23-year-old Akwesasne man who murdered his infant son and left his wife for dead won’t be eligible for parole for at least 15 years, a judge has ruled.
Carson Day pleaded guilty last December to the second-degree murder of his son, 20-month-old Landon, by smothering him at their Cornwall Island apartment in the early morning hours of July 14, 2007.
Landon's murder happened shortly after the attempted murder of the baby's 19-year-old mother, who Day admitted to slashing across the neck with a knife.
Day then slit his own wrists in a failed suicide attempt, the court heard.
Justice Johanne Lafrance-Cardinal sentenced Day to a seven-year concurrent sentence for the attempted murder.
Taking into account Day’s pretrial custody, he may be eligible for parole on July 14, 2022.
Lafrance-Cardinal shared extensive details with the court about Day’s background from a pre-sentence report. It depicted Day as a smuggler who could pocket between $5,000 - $30,000 each month.
“There was too much of everything — drugs, power and woman [sic],” Day told officials for the report.
The report often warned about the allure of the smuggling trade for young people like Day in Akwesasne. It referred to the “ill-conceived justification” of the lifestyle because of its deep roots in trade and commerce within First Nations culture. The smuggling trade, the report said, creates many “pitfalls” for youth.
According to the report, Day developed an addiction to OxyContin, a habit that progressed to 10 to 15 pills per day.
He was kicked out of school in Grade 9 for drug use, the report stated.
Day had been trying to beat his drug habit, but the court heard how he soon found himself wrapped up in an extramarital affair. His common-law life had contracted a sexually-transmitted disease through him and his new partner.
The court heard how Day grew more and more removed from friends and family, convinced that he’d made his entire family sick.
“He was afraid they were all sick, that the baby was sick,” the report stated.
According to the pre-sentence report, Day had attempted to commit suicide at least twice leading up to the night he killed his son and tried to kill his wife.
Akwesasne Mohawk Police found an HIV information pamphlet and a suicide note from Day at the scene, Lafrance-Cardinal said.
After the police arrived at the scene, Day charged the officers with a knife, shouting for them to shoot him. He was shocked with a Taser four times and placed into custody.
Woman shot to death by "estranged" husband; husband was facing child abuse charges (Plantation, Florida)
WILBERT LORMEUS gunned down his "estranged" wife, then later offed himself. Seems Lormeus was facing an August trial for child abuse charges. Not clarified here if it was for his own child or what. But the case certainly shows you that the domestic violence, homicide, and child abuse often and typically appear in tandem.
http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/broward/plantation/fl-plantation-killing-20100427,0,4109314.story
Plantation police: Dead woman was likely victim of murder-suicide
Guilouse Cenatus, 37, thought to have been shot by estranged husband
11:47 a.m. EDT, April 27, 2010
PLANTATION
A woman who was shot dead at an apartment complex Monday night was likely killed by her estranged husband who later committed suicide, police said.
Guilouse Cenatus, 37, was found dead on the sidewalk outside an apartment building in the Plantation Gardens complex, located in the 7600 block of Northwest Fifth Street, Police Detective Phil Toman said.
Several people at the complex said it looked like Cenatus was shot as she ran out of an apartment in her underwear around 9 p.m.
Minutes later, authorities were called about a suicide at the Pompano Beach Cemetery at 400 S. Federal Highway. Cenatus' estranged husband, Wilbert Lormeus, 39, had shot and killed himself, police said.
It appears that the estranged couple died in a murder-suicide, Toman said.
Detectives are awaiting autopsy and ballistic test results.
The couple were married in March 2003, according to state records.
Lormeus was facing trial in August for a child abuse charge in Boynton Beach, records showed. No details were immediately available.
http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/broward/plantation/fl-plantation-killing-20100427,0,4109314.story
Plantation police: Dead woman was likely victim of murder-suicide
Guilouse Cenatus, 37, thought to have been shot by estranged husband
11:47 a.m. EDT, April 27, 2010
PLANTATION
A woman who was shot dead at an apartment complex Monday night was likely killed by her estranged husband who later committed suicide, police said.
Guilouse Cenatus, 37, was found dead on the sidewalk outside an apartment building in the Plantation Gardens complex, located in the 7600 block of Northwest Fifth Street, Police Detective Phil Toman said.
Several people at the complex said it looked like Cenatus was shot as she ran out of an apartment in her underwear around 9 p.m.
Minutes later, authorities were called about a suicide at the Pompano Beach Cemetery at 400 S. Federal Highway. Cenatus' estranged husband, Wilbert Lormeus, 39, had shot and killed himself, police said.
It appears that the estranged couple died in a murder-suicide, Toman said.
Detectives are awaiting autopsy and ballistic test results.
The couple were married in March 2003, according to state records.
Lormeus was facing trial in August for a child abuse charge in Boynton Beach, records showed. No details were immediately available.
Dad charged with choking 16-year-old pregnant daughter (Framingham, Massachusetts)
Dad MICHAEL LAFRANCE is charged with assault with intent to murder and aggravated assault and battery after he "allegedly" choked his 16-year-old daughter after "an argument." Seems there is a lot of back story here that's not being told. What's going on with the "men standing outside" who wanted to confront the father on behalf of the girl's apparent boyfriend? And is there a mother in this household? If so, there's no mention of her.
http://www.metrowestdailynews.com/news/police_and_fire/x457996391/Dad-charged-with-choking-pregnant-daughter
Dad charged with choking pregnant daughter
By Danielle Ameden/Daily News staff
MetroWest Daily News
Posted Apr 27, 2010 @ 12:00 AM
FRAMINGHAM — A Framingham man charged with choking his 16-year-old pregnant daughter was released yesterday without bail.
Michael LaFrance, 40, is charged with assault with intent to murder and aggravated assault and battery after an argument Friday night, police said.
Police say LaFrance put his hands around his daughter, Danielle's, throat and choked her after she got into an argument with her brother over use of the kitchen sink. Danielle is 7 months pregnant, police said.
Police were called to the family's home at 52 C St. about 7:15 p.m. to investigate a report of a group of men standing outside, threatening someone inside.
One of the men told police the group was there to "confront the father of a buddy's girlfriend," according to a report filed in Framingham District Court.
Danielle LaFrance told police she had been arguing with her father all day Friday and was doing dishes before she was attacked. She told police her brother came into the kitchen, the two argued and she splashed water on him.
Their father then came in and grabbed her by the throat for what seemed to be two minutes while he yelled at her, according to the report.
Michael LaFrance told officers he only grabbed his daughter by the chin to yell at her and "tell her to behave."
He was arrested at home Friday night and was held over the weekend. He was arraigned yesterday before Judge Paul Healy Jr. and released on personal recognizance.
The district attorney's office filed a motion to have Michael LaFrance released with conditions that he not abuse the victim, abide by any restraining orders and follow all orders from the state Department of Children and Family Services.
Michael LaFrance is due back for a pretrial conference on June 7.
(Danielle Ameden can be reached at 508-626-4416 or dameden@cnc.com.)
http://www.metrowestdailynews.com/news/police_and_fire/x457996391/Dad-charged-with-choking-pregnant-daughter
Dad charged with choking pregnant daughter
By Danielle Ameden/Daily News staff
MetroWest Daily News
Posted Apr 27, 2010 @ 12:00 AM
FRAMINGHAM — A Framingham man charged with choking his 16-year-old pregnant daughter was released yesterday without bail.
Michael LaFrance, 40, is charged with assault with intent to murder and aggravated assault and battery after an argument Friday night, police said.
Police say LaFrance put his hands around his daughter, Danielle's, throat and choked her after she got into an argument with her brother over use of the kitchen sink. Danielle is 7 months pregnant, police said.
Police were called to the family's home at 52 C St. about 7:15 p.m. to investigate a report of a group of men standing outside, threatening someone inside.
One of the men told police the group was there to "confront the father of a buddy's girlfriend," according to a report filed in Framingham District Court.
Danielle LaFrance told police she had been arguing with her father all day Friday and was doing dishes before she was attacked. She told police her brother came into the kitchen, the two argued and she splashed water on him.
Their father then came in and grabbed her by the throat for what seemed to be two minutes while he yelled at her, according to the report.
Michael LaFrance told officers he only grabbed his daughter by the chin to yell at her and "tell her to behave."
He was arrested at home Friday night and was held over the weekend. He was arraigned yesterday before Judge Paul Healy Jr. and released on personal recognizance.
The district attorney's office filed a motion to have Michael LaFrance released with conditions that he not abuse the victim, abide by any restraining orders and follow all orders from the state Department of Children and Family Services.
Michael LaFrance is due back for a pretrial conference on June 7.
(Danielle Ameden can be reached at 508-626-4416 or dameden@cnc.com.)
The Fine Art of Institutional Grooming: Institutional Grooming Defined and Explained (Australia)
Groundbreaking and innovative post from Audrey at Australian Shared Parenting Law Debate. This blog has basically become required reading for anybody concerned about issues of domestic violence, child abuse, and custody.
http://aspld.blogspot.com/2010/04/fine-art-of-institutional-grooming.html
Monday, April 26, 2010
~ The Fine Art of Institutional Grooming ~
Institutional Grooming Defined and Explained
A lot of people will have heard of the term "grooming", but most will think of the term only as it is used in the context of child sexual abuse. What many people do not consider, is that grooming is an art that is practiced by most perpetrators of any kind of abuse, and, I believe, particularly by perpetrators of family violence.
It is not only a perpetrator's victims that are groomed (which would be considered emotional abuse), but the victims' family and friends, the perpetrator's own family and friends, and even public servants and medical professionals (in which case it is purposeful manipulation). The grooming of doctors, nurses, mental health carers, family support workers and other public servants is called "Institutional Grooming" and the perpetrator does it for the purpose of self-preservation.
The targets of Institutional Groomers may include their victim's General Practitioner, psychiatrist, psychologist, child health nurse, pediatrician, carers at a Family Day Care Facility, school teachers, counselors or therapists. The public servants targeted may be social workers, case workers, investigative officers or police officers employed by government departments such as the Department For Child Protection, the Police's Family Protection Unit and the Department for Community Development. When done with enough finesse to be successful, institutional grooming ensures that any complaints alleged about the perpetrator are either disregarded outright, doubted and therefore not investigated thoroughly, or if acted upon, subsequently dismissed in a court of law.
Why would a perpetrator go to such lengths to manipulate people other than their victims? Because when their victims, the victims' family and friends, and the public service networks intended to support their victims are groomed successfully, the investment of all that hard work does not go to waste - the victims are then still available to continue to abuse.
Some Thought Provoking Insights into a Victim's Reality
The scary thing about successful institutional grooming is that it substantially increases the harm done to the victims, not only because the abuse they face continues for longer, but because they lose their trust and faith in the world around them, in their family and friends, in the professional people who are meant to protect them, and most tragically, in themselves.
The things that are said and done to hurt and manipulate a victim only occur behind closed doors, and it can be very hard to remember exactly what was said or done, where, in which order and at what time, when your world feels like it is caving in. An abuser will jump on this uncertainty to highlight a victim's supposed insanity or make them seem dishonest, and to shift the focus away from his/her own appalling behavior.
Once a victim's memories of the abuse, the words said, things done and feelings felt during that abuse, have been twisted and distorted to deny, justify or excuse that abuse, one can understand why the victim begins to feel unsure about what really happened. Combine this with the common symptoms of complete and partial memory blocking and/or memory substitution in victims suffering from even mild cases of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and one can see how it can all combine to compound a victim’s confusion and distress, and deter them from objecting or trying to report it the next time it happens. One can also see how these factors can pervert the course of Justice.
Grooming by Perpetrators of Family Violence and Child Abuse
In the context of family violence, institutional grooming is done to discredit the non- perpetrating parent (who is often also a victim), and the effects of successful institutional grooming in these circumstances are almost always tragic. In best case scenarios, it can ensure debilitating emotional trauma and devastating long term consequences as the perpetrator is free to continue their abuse of both the child(ren) and the abused parent. In worst case scenarios, the results can be overwhelming, and may include horrific physical abuse, soul destroying sexual abuse or even premature death of the victim(s). The death of such victim(s) may be due to suicide, manslaughter, murder-suicide or violent murder. The most prevalent and obvious consequence however, is once again perversion of the course of Justice, and the undeniable failure of the Legal System's purpose.
Damned If You Do & Damned If You Don't
For clarification, consider this generalized example: If a mother seeks help with protecting her children in a situation where emotional and physical abuse of both herself and her children has already occurred, and/or where there has been inappropriate sexual talk and behavior in front of her children (that may or may not be sexual grooming), and the children have displayed signs that indicate possible sexual abuse (that may or may not have happened, and may or may not happen in the future), but where the perpetrator is skilled at the art of institutional grooming, that mother will often then be subjected to accusations of parental alienation and of perpetuating feelings of fear in her children. Instead of being taken seriously, she finds herself having to defend her actions and her parenting skills, and sometimes may even find herself being the one accused of abusing her children.
If she seeks legal advice, she is advised not to make an application to the Family Court because it is likely that any application will result in 50/50 shared care of the kids. Further more, she is informed that under current Family Law, if she makes any allegations of abuse that cannot be proven, she risks being found guilty of parental alienation and quite possibly faces losing her children to the perpetrator in the likely event that interim orders would award him full residency, and allow her only a couple of hours of supervised contact per fortnight, while her children are sent to live with their alleged abuser. She may also be required to pay the legal costs for both parties.
On the other hand, if she does not do anything about seeking help from the authorities, either because she has circumstantial evidence but no substantiated proof, and no other witnesses to testify on her behalf (her own testimony would be considered hearsay, and therefore discounted), or perhaps because she has been doubted and/or counter-accused before, then at some point in the future she may find herself being found guilty of neglecting her duty of care to her children, and face the prospect of losing her kids to foster care.
What Justice?
While I have no doubt that there are indeed parents out there who do not put the best interests of their children first, and who are in fact guilty of alienating their children against the other parent and perhaps even of fabricating false allegations of abuse, whether for revenge or some other reason, surely they must be the minority? Wouldn't the majority of parents want to put their kids first?
Further more, I ask this question: What about the mother who, in spite of her own abuse, subjugation and degradation, somehow finds the strength to trust her own intuition, and manages to intervene before her children become the victims of more serious physical abuse or devastating sexual abuse. Instead of being supported and respected for the strength she has shown in the face of her adversity, she is instead victimized, subdued and humiliated to an even greater extent. Where is the justice for mothers such as she? Instead she becomes a victim of the system, and so do her children. What happened to breaking the Cycle of Abuse?
A Society-Sized Cycle?
Has anybody even stopped to think that perhaps the term "cycle of abuse" now describes a far greater cycle of perpetual dysfunction than simply the personal relationships between perpetrators and their victims, a cycle that in fact occurs and continues on a much larger scale - one that encompasses modern society as a whole? I mean, who is more likely to be a liar? A victim or their perpetrator?
Obviously there are exceptions to every rule, but in most cases, what would a victim get out of being a liar? Any parent who has suffered as a victim of family violence, then chosen to speak out against their family's abuser, and then been consistent in their commitment to the ongoing and endless process of attending appointments with social workers, lawyers, medical professionals, psychologists, counselors, art therapy and group therapy sessions (for both themselves and their children), would agree that the financial costs, physical energy requirements, mental strain and emotional drain of post traumatic abuse times could simply not be worth it.
Proactive parents who choose to engage in such an involved process, due to their genuine desire to heal their family's wounds, to protect their children from further harm, and to ensure a positive, healthy change in their life circumstances, will have often maintained such efforts for months before the matter is brought before the court, and they will have to maintain their efforts for many months or even years after the court makes final orders, even if orders are reasonably suitable.
In stark contrast, perpetrators who engage in such therapy will almost always only do so after being questioned about allegations of abuse, or in the weeks and days leading up to a court hearing. They only do so to preserve their false reputations, and their energetic last minute efforts will seldom last more than a few weeks past the need to be seen as the "poor victim" of a "vengeful" or "jealous" partner, rather than be exposed as the selfish, unrepentant perpetrators of abuse that they are.
Morality and Proactive Logic versus Passive Ignorance
I think that the Family Law Courts and some government departments are missing the whole point of what is in the best interests of the child. I am not saying that a perpetrator should be guilty until proven innocent, or punished without sufficient proof, but what is wrong with protecting our kids BEFORE they become victims? Why should the only evidence taken seriously enough to warrant supervised contact be substantiated proof of past abuse? Surely prevention is better than a cure?
They cannot say that the cost of supervised contact would be too great if they compare it to the long term costs of abuse to our society, considering how many victims of child abuse go on to have life long psychological problems, alcohol and other substance abuse issues, often grow up to become abusers themselves, or in some cases resort to suicide.
Considerations of a Responsible Government
The purpose of Family Law should be the protection of our children, who are not yet capable of making their own choices, rather than any irrationally perceived justice for those adults who have chosen not to take responsibility for the destructive effects of their abusive behavior, or the unjust persecution of those adults who are trying to shoulder responsibility for both their own and the abusive parents actions, by trying to fight a losing battle that must be fought if they are to honor the duty of care they have to their children.
It is essential that any reforms implemented as a result of the review of the 2006 Family Law Amendments (and any future changes) ensure there are no violations of the first and foremost Rights of our Children - their right to be protected from harm, and to live with out fear, in the warm, safe embrace of unconditional love.
Surely the Government can see the necessity of making well informed decisions regarding the specifics of any changes. Hopefully those responsible for making these decisions will question the effectiveness of a Justice System that only takes into account substantiated proof (scientific fact?) when making judgments that are guided by Laws which have been based on inductively reasoned generalizations drawn from the observation of limited numbers of specific instances (philosophical opinion?). Even the existence of the many heated debates over Australian Shared Parenting Laws highlights the fact that those generalizations were a misrepresentation of the prevailing truth.
The Laws that govern the Family Court System need to be decided by using deductive reasoning to draw valid, logical conclusions from the overwhelmingly substantial amount of relevant empirical evidence available, and most people would agree that those facts can be easily found in the historically prevalent and devastating long term effects observed in children who have witnessed and/or experienced any kind of abuse.
The proven reliability of empirical knowledge obtained by making specific, logical and valid deductions based on vast numbers of instances that demonstrate very clear and consistent long term trends is surely what is required to ensure that the changes made to Family Laws are effective. It is essential that once amended, Family Laws consistently achieve their purpose of effectively guiding judgments in those cases where in there is a need to protect children from a risk of probable future abuse but where most often there is no proof other than circumstantial evidence, victim testimony and professional opinion based on hearsay. It is the only viable path to follow if we are to build a Family Law System in which Justice will actually serve in the best interests of the child.
Once all that is achieved, time will confirm the truth and future generations will prosper from the positive, healthy, and wide spread evolution of our society. Their enlightenment will ensure that the wondrous gift of human morality will finally manifest in every aspect of society, propelling mankind into the peaceful bliss of a Golden Age filled with warmth, love and Light!
Posted by Audrey at 3:32 AM
http://aspld.blogspot.com/2010/04/fine-art-of-institutional-grooming.html
Monday, April 26, 2010
~ The Fine Art of Institutional Grooming ~
Institutional Grooming Defined and Explained
A lot of people will have heard of the term "grooming", but most will think of the term only as it is used in the context of child sexual abuse. What many people do not consider, is that grooming is an art that is practiced by most perpetrators of any kind of abuse, and, I believe, particularly by perpetrators of family violence.
It is not only a perpetrator's victims that are groomed (which would be considered emotional abuse), but the victims' family and friends, the perpetrator's own family and friends, and even public servants and medical professionals (in which case it is purposeful manipulation). The grooming of doctors, nurses, mental health carers, family support workers and other public servants is called "Institutional Grooming" and the perpetrator does it for the purpose of self-preservation.
The targets of Institutional Groomers may include their victim's General Practitioner, psychiatrist, psychologist, child health nurse, pediatrician, carers at a Family Day Care Facility, school teachers, counselors or therapists. The public servants targeted may be social workers, case workers, investigative officers or police officers employed by government departments such as the Department For Child Protection, the Police's Family Protection Unit and the Department for Community Development. When done with enough finesse to be successful, institutional grooming ensures that any complaints alleged about the perpetrator are either disregarded outright, doubted and therefore not investigated thoroughly, or if acted upon, subsequently dismissed in a court of law.
Why would a perpetrator go to such lengths to manipulate people other than their victims? Because when their victims, the victims' family and friends, and the public service networks intended to support their victims are groomed successfully, the investment of all that hard work does not go to waste - the victims are then still available to continue to abuse.
Some Thought Provoking Insights into a Victim's Reality
The scary thing about successful institutional grooming is that it substantially increases the harm done to the victims, not only because the abuse they face continues for longer, but because they lose their trust and faith in the world around them, in their family and friends, in the professional people who are meant to protect them, and most tragically, in themselves.
The things that are said and done to hurt and manipulate a victim only occur behind closed doors, and it can be very hard to remember exactly what was said or done, where, in which order and at what time, when your world feels like it is caving in. An abuser will jump on this uncertainty to highlight a victim's supposed insanity or make them seem dishonest, and to shift the focus away from his/her own appalling behavior.
Once a victim's memories of the abuse, the words said, things done and feelings felt during that abuse, have been twisted and distorted to deny, justify or excuse that abuse, one can understand why the victim begins to feel unsure about what really happened. Combine this with the common symptoms of complete and partial memory blocking and/or memory substitution in victims suffering from even mild cases of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and one can see how it can all combine to compound a victim’s confusion and distress, and deter them from objecting or trying to report it the next time it happens. One can also see how these factors can pervert the course of Justice.
Grooming by Perpetrators of Family Violence and Child Abuse
In the context of family violence, institutional grooming is done to discredit the non- perpetrating parent (who is often also a victim), and the effects of successful institutional grooming in these circumstances are almost always tragic. In best case scenarios, it can ensure debilitating emotional trauma and devastating long term consequences as the perpetrator is free to continue their abuse of both the child(ren) and the abused parent. In worst case scenarios, the results can be overwhelming, and may include horrific physical abuse, soul destroying sexual abuse or even premature death of the victim(s). The death of such victim(s) may be due to suicide, manslaughter, murder-suicide or violent murder. The most prevalent and obvious consequence however, is once again perversion of the course of Justice, and the undeniable failure of the Legal System's purpose.
Damned If You Do & Damned If You Don't
For clarification, consider this generalized example: If a mother seeks help with protecting her children in a situation where emotional and physical abuse of both herself and her children has already occurred, and/or where there has been inappropriate sexual talk and behavior in front of her children (that may or may not be sexual grooming), and the children have displayed signs that indicate possible sexual abuse (that may or may not have happened, and may or may not happen in the future), but where the perpetrator is skilled at the art of institutional grooming, that mother will often then be subjected to accusations of parental alienation and of perpetuating feelings of fear in her children. Instead of being taken seriously, she finds herself having to defend her actions and her parenting skills, and sometimes may even find herself being the one accused of abusing her children.
If she seeks legal advice, she is advised not to make an application to the Family Court because it is likely that any application will result in 50/50 shared care of the kids. Further more, she is informed that under current Family Law, if she makes any allegations of abuse that cannot be proven, she risks being found guilty of parental alienation and quite possibly faces losing her children to the perpetrator in the likely event that interim orders would award him full residency, and allow her only a couple of hours of supervised contact per fortnight, while her children are sent to live with their alleged abuser. She may also be required to pay the legal costs for both parties.
On the other hand, if she does not do anything about seeking help from the authorities, either because she has circumstantial evidence but no substantiated proof, and no other witnesses to testify on her behalf (her own testimony would be considered hearsay, and therefore discounted), or perhaps because she has been doubted and/or counter-accused before, then at some point in the future she may find herself being found guilty of neglecting her duty of care to her children, and face the prospect of losing her kids to foster care.
What Justice?
While I have no doubt that there are indeed parents out there who do not put the best interests of their children first, and who are in fact guilty of alienating their children against the other parent and perhaps even of fabricating false allegations of abuse, whether for revenge or some other reason, surely they must be the minority? Wouldn't the majority of parents want to put their kids first?
Further more, I ask this question: What about the mother who, in spite of her own abuse, subjugation and degradation, somehow finds the strength to trust her own intuition, and manages to intervene before her children become the victims of more serious physical abuse or devastating sexual abuse. Instead of being supported and respected for the strength she has shown in the face of her adversity, she is instead victimized, subdued and humiliated to an even greater extent. Where is the justice for mothers such as she? Instead she becomes a victim of the system, and so do her children. What happened to breaking the Cycle of Abuse?
A Society-Sized Cycle?
Has anybody even stopped to think that perhaps the term "cycle of abuse" now describes a far greater cycle of perpetual dysfunction than simply the personal relationships between perpetrators and their victims, a cycle that in fact occurs and continues on a much larger scale - one that encompasses modern society as a whole? I mean, who is more likely to be a liar? A victim or their perpetrator?
Obviously there are exceptions to every rule, but in most cases, what would a victim get out of being a liar? Any parent who has suffered as a victim of family violence, then chosen to speak out against their family's abuser, and then been consistent in their commitment to the ongoing and endless process of attending appointments with social workers, lawyers, medical professionals, psychologists, counselors, art therapy and group therapy sessions (for both themselves and their children), would agree that the financial costs, physical energy requirements, mental strain and emotional drain of post traumatic abuse times could simply not be worth it.
Proactive parents who choose to engage in such an involved process, due to their genuine desire to heal their family's wounds, to protect their children from further harm, and to ensure a positive, healthy change in their life circumstances, will have often maintained such efforts for months before the matter is brought before the court, and they will have to maintain their efforts for many months or even years after the court makes final orders, even if orders are reasonably suitable.
In stark contrast, perpetrators who engage in such therapy will almost always only do so after being questioned about allegations of abuse, or in the weeks and days leading up to a court hearing. They only do so to preserve their false reputations, and their energetic last minute efforts will seldom last more than a few weeks past the need to be seen as the "poor victim" of a "vengeful" or "jealous" partner, rather than be exposed as the selfish, unrepentant perpetrators of abuse that they are.
Morality and Proactive Logic versus Passive Ignorance
I think that the Family Law Courts and some government departments are missing the whole point of what is in the best interests of the child. I am not saying that a perpetrator should be guilty until proven innocent, or punished without sufficient proof, but what is wrong with protecting our kids BEFORE they become victims? Why should the only evidence taken seriously enough to warrant supervised contact be substantiated proof of past abuse? Surely prevention is better than a cure?
They cannot say that the cost of supervised contact would be too great if they compare it to the long term costs of abuse to our society, considering how many victims of child abuse go on to have life long psychological problems, alcohol and other substance abuse issues, often grow up to become abusers themselves, or in some cases resort to suicide.
Considerations of a Responsible Government
The purpose of Family Law should be the protection of our children, who are not yet capable of making their own choices, rather than any irrationally perceived justice for those adults who have chosen not to take responsibility for the destructive effects of their abusive behavior, or the unjust persecution of those adults who are trying to shoulder responsibility for both their own and the abusive parents actions, by trying to fight a losing battle that must be fought if they are to honor the duty of care they have to their children.
It is essential that any reforms implemented as a result of the review of the 2006 Family Law Amendments (and any future changes) ensure there are no violations of the first and foremost Rights of our Children - their right to be protected from harm, and to live with out fear, in the warm, safe embrace of unconditional love.
Surely the Government can see the necessity of making well informed decisions regarding the specifics of any changes. Hopefully those responsible for making these decisions will question the effectiveness of a Justice System that only takes into account substantiated proof (scientific fact?) when making judgments that are guided by Laws which have been based on inductively reasoned generalizations drawn from the observation of limited numbers of specific instances (philosophical opinion?). Even the existence of the many heated debates over Australian Shared Parenting Laws highlights the fact that those generalizations were a misrepresentation of the prevailing truth.
The Laws that govern the Family Court System need to be decided by using deductive reasoning to draw valid, logical conclusions from the overwhelmingly substantial amount of relevant empirical evidence available, and most people would agree that those facts can be easily found in the historically prevalent and devastating long term effects observed in children who have witnessed and/or experienced any kind of abuse.
The proven reliability of empirical knowledge obtained by making specific, logical and valid deductions based on vast numbers of instances that demonstrate very clear and consistent long term trends is surely what is required to ensure that the changes made to Family Laws are effective. It is essential that once amended, Family Laws consistently achieve their purpose of effectively guiding judgments in those cases where in there is a need to protect children from a risk of probable future abuse but where most often there is no proof other than circumstantial evidence, victim testimony and professional opinion based on hearsay. It is the only viable path to follow if we are to build a Family Law System in which Justice will actually serve in the best interests of the child.
Once all that is achieved, time will confirm the truth and future generations will prosper from the positive, healthy, and wide spread evolution of our society. Their enlightenment will ensure that the wondrous gift of human morality will finally manifest in every aspect of society, propelling mankind into the peaceful bliss of a Golden Age filled with warmth, love and Light!
Posted by Audrey at 3:32 AM
Police: Dad abandons kids after drunken-driving crash (Homer City, Indiana)
Dad ULRIC DARON MCKENZIE has been charged with child endangerment, reckless endangerment, and DUI after he fled a drunken-driving crash and left his 3 children--ages 3, 4, and 6--in the vehicle. Not a word here about the children's mother.
http://tribune-democrat.com/local/x563633191/Father-abandons-kids-after-drunken-driving-crash-police-say
April 25, 2010
Father abandons kids after drunken-driving crash, police say
The Tribune-Democrat
HOMER CITY — An Indiana County man was charged with endangering the welfare of children after authorities said he fled a drunken-driving crash leaving his three children in the vehicle.
State police in Indiana said Ulric Daron McKenzie, 29, of Homer City allegedly crashed his vehicle at 7:16 p.m. Friday on U.S. Route 119 south in Center Township.
Witnesses said the vehicle was speeding when the driver lost control and struck a utility pole.
The driver then fled leaving children ages 3, 4 and 6 in the vehicle, troopers said. The children were not secured and the airbags deployed. There was no report of injuries.
Troopers later found McKenzie and charged him with child endangerment, reckless endangerment and DUI.
http://tribune-democrat.com/local/x563633191/Father-abandons-kids-after-drunken-driving-crash-police-say
April 25, 2010
Father abandons kids after drunken-driving crash, police say
The Tribune-Democrat
HOMER CITY — An Indiana County man was charged with endangering the welfare of children after authorities said he fled a drunken-driving crash leaving his three children in the vehicle.
State police in Indiana said Ulric Daron McKenzie, 29, of Homer City allegedly crashed his vehicle at 7:16 p.m. Friday on U.S. Route 119 south in Center Township.
Witnesses said the vehicle was speeding when the driver lost control and struck a utility pole.
The driver then fled leaving children ages 3, 4 and 6 in the vehicle, troopers said. The children were not secured and the airbags deployed. There was no report of injuries.
Troopers later found McKenzie and charged him with child endangerment, reckless endangerment and DUI.
Dad accused of shooting to death 19-month-old daughter (Portsmouth, Ohio)
Police say UNNAMED DAD shot and killed his 19-month-old daughter. Her mother was holding the child at the time of the shooting, and was also hit by the shot (no word here on the mother's condition, but she apparently was not badly injured.) Yet police are still pontificating as to "motive" and whether this might have been "an accident." Are you kidding me?
http://www.wsaz.com/news/headlines/92140179.html
Posted: 7:45 PM Apr 26, 2010
19-Month-Old Girl Killed in Shooting; Many Questions Remain
A 19-month-old baby girl was shot and killed last Friday morning, and police say her 16-year-old father pulled the trigger.
Reporter: Randy Yohe
Email Address: randy.yohe@wsaz.com
PORTSMOUTH, Ohio (WSAZ) -- A 19-month-old baby girl was shot and killed last Friday morning, and police say her 16-year-old father pulled the trigger.
Police say the question remains if the shooting was an accident or not.
No one answered the door at 1301 Grandview Ave. on Monday. That's where police say mother Destiny Cook, 18, was holding her toddler daughter Betty Eldridge when they both were hit with one shot from a gun fired by the girl's 16-year-old father.
Police say Cook drove her daughter to Southern Ohio Medical Center where the little girl died.
The toddler's father is in custody, but police say they have not yet determined a motive -- if there is one. Officers say the the gun did not belong to the father.
Portsmouth Police Capt. Robert Ware said more interviews are needed in the probe to determine why the teen dad had the gun and why the gun was fired.
Police said the juvenile father is currently being held on unrelated charges involving property damage. Police said they hope to have more information by Tuesday.
http://www.wsaz.com/news/headlines/92140179.html
Posted: 7:45 PM Apr 26, 2010
19-Month-Old Girl Killed in Shooting; Many Questions Remain
A 19-month-old baby girl was shot and killed last Friday morning, and police say her 16-year-old father pulled the trigger.
Reporter: Randy Yohe
Email Address: randy.yohe@wsaz.com
PORTSMOUTH, Ohio (WSAZ) -- A 19-month-old baby girl was shot and killed last Friday morning, and police say her 16-year-old father pulled the trigger.
Police say the question remains if the shooting was an accident or not.
No one answered the door at 1301 Grandview Ave. on Monday. That's where police say mother Destiny Cook, 18, was holding her toddler daughter Betty Eldridge when they both were hit with one shot from a gun fired by the girl's 16-year-old father.
Police say Cook drove her daughter to Southern Ohio Medical Center where the little girl died.
The toddler's father is in custody, but police say they have not yet determined a motive -- if there is one. Officers say the the gun did not belong to the father.
Portsmouth Police Capt. Robert Ware said more interviews are needed in the probe to determine why the teen dad had the gun and why the gun was fired.
Police said the juvenile father is currently being held on unrelated charges involving property damage. Police said they hope to have more information by Tuesday.
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