'Love should never hurt' (Helena, Montana)

Inspiring story about actor/former bootball player Victor Rivas Rivers and his advocacy work for victims of domestic violence and child abuse. Unfortunately, the things that happened to Rivers--like being told by the police that he had to return to the home of his abusive UNNAMED DAD--still happen today, even when there is a protective mother or other adult trying to advocate for the child and keep the child safe.

http://www.helenair.com/news/local/article_21bfa288-9d03-11de-a6ac-001cc4c03286.html

'Love should never hurt'
By ANGELA BRANDT Independent Record Posted: Wednesday, September 9, 2009 12:15 am

When Victor Rivas Rivers was a boy, he suffered such abuse at the hands of his father he took it upon himself to attempt to get his father arrested. He walked into a Miami police department and stripped off his clothes so officers to get a glimpse of the welts, bruises and burns which marred his skin.

Pleading for help, Rivers was told to sign a complaint and return home to his abusive father.

"It was a private family matter," he said.

With the help of many "angels" in his community, Rivers was able to leave his broken home at the age of 15.

Rivers is now an advocate, actor and author and a former NFL offensive lineman who played two seasons for the Miami Dolphins. As the keynote speaker at the Through Our Children's Eyes: Advocacy for Children and Youth Who Experience Domestic Violence conference in Helena Tuesday afternoon, Rivers said he was there to act as cheerleader to remind those who work with children that what they do matters. The conference, which runs until Thursday, is sponsored by the Montana Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence.

"I am that child who was rescued and raised by my village," he told the group gathered at the Best Western Great Northern.

Rivers wrote about his abuse and rise to fame in the New York Times bestseller "A Private Family Matter."

While on the set of his movies - some of which include "The Mask of Zorro," "The Hulk" and "The Distinguished Gentleman" - Rivers always knows when the scene is over because someone yells "cut" to end the action. In real-life and in cases of domestic violence, there is often no one there to yell "cut" or "cut it out," he said.

"That violence is real. It's terrible. It's scarring, and sometimes it's deadly," said Rivers, who is spokesman for the National Network to End Domestic Violence.

When he was 15 years old, Rivers stood up to his father physically for the first time. Knowing he changed the dynamic of his household and in fear for this life, Rivers ran away from home.

"All I ever wanted from my father was for him to love me…love should never hurt," he said.

A classmate brought Rivers home to his father, who happened to be a lawyer and helped Rivers get a restraining order against his father. Following that, he lived with several foster families in his community in Miami, whom he names as a few of his "angels."

He also had those "angels" he didn't see or realize at the time including advocates and mentors, he said.

Rivers said if he can save or inspire one person through his loss of privacy, it's well worth it. He urged teachers and counselors to pay attention to the warning signs of abuse in the children they work with, adding that he began to feel he mattered through his "angels" identifying that he needed help.