Mom of boy malnourished by custodial dad speaks out (St. Bernard Parish, Louisiana)

It's too bad the reporter dwells so much on the mom being a 15-year-old teen when her son was born (isn't that statutory rape?) and her past involvement in adult films (which are not linked here with any allegations of abuse or neglect) rather then Dad DANIEL BALLARD's actual abuse. It's the usual double standard--moms are trashed for not meeting some narrow, puritanical notion of "morality", while the documented real-life abuse of fathers is swept under the carpet. Only as an afterthought do we mention that Mom owns a home now and is in graduate school.

http://www.nola.com/crime/index.ssf/2009/09/mother_details_four_years_with.html

Mother of malnourished boy details four years without her son
By Chris Kirkham
September 21, 2009, 5:40AM

The 10-year-old boy living in suburban Phoenix, Ariz., had just finished fourth grade. He had lived with his mother, Kalyn Loe, since birth and had not seen his father in more than two years.

The couple kept in contact over the years, and the father, Daniel Ballard, was begging to see his son for a two-month summer vacation to New Orleans in 2005.

So Loe put him on a plane in late June. She wouldn't see him again until four years later, after news that he was discovered malnourished and in deplorable living conditions in rural St. Bernard Parish.

On Sept. 9, authorities found the boy, now 14, in a foul-smelling, cramped recreational vehicle. Ballard admitted to investigators that the boy had not attended school or seen a doctor in more than four years.

Booked with cruelty to a juvenile, Ballard was released last week from St. Bernard Parish Prison after posting $25,000 bond. An initial court appearance will be in December.

The boy, who has not been publicly identified, was admitted to a hospital for treatment of a broken arm, broken finger and cellulitis, a bacterial skin infection that can be life-threatening if untreated. Authorities said he weighed 60 pounds; Loe said he was 84 pounds.

There are spots on his head where hair isn't growing, Loe said, and several welt marks on his back. She said he reads at a fourth-grade level and struggles with basic arithmetic.

Back in Phoenix with Loe, the boy is starting over after four years of isolation and exclusion from mainstream society. The story of how the boy came to Louisiana -- and dropped out of sight -- is a bizarre chapter in the life of a child born to wayward teenage parents who never officially determined custody.

An interview with the boy's mother reveals the sorrow of a woman who regrets letting her son slip out of sight and who tried unsuccessfully for years to locate him.

"I thought about going there many, many times, " she said. "But where? Where would I look? Danny had him so excluded from the world that it would have been impossible."

Ballard said the facts have been blown out of proportion, saying he and the boy had lived in the RV for only a month and that it wasn't a bad living situation.

Teenage parents

Loe was 18 when the baby was born. Ballard was only 15. The couple had another child together two years later. Growing up in Findlay, Ohio, the pair stuck together for a few years but eventually drifted apart. Loe moved to Michigan and later Arizona with the children, and Ballard moved to Louisiana.

In her 20s, Loe worked as an X-rated actress for Hustler videos and did photo shoots while caring for the two children, and later another. Loe said she put enough money aside to move to Arizona, buy a house and attend college.

She said she's now a full-time student, with a bachelor's degree and a year into a master's in secondary education program at Western International University, outside of Phoenix. University officials did not return a phone call and e-mails Friday seeking to confirm her enrollment.

Loe said she had put the adult film and modeling career behind her when she decided to allow her oldest son, then 10, to board a plane and visit his father in New Orleans. Ballard had told Loe he was getting his life together, that he had a GED and steady job.

It was late June 2005, and the plan was for the boy to spend two months with Ballard and return to Arizona for school.

At first, she recalled, there were daily phone calls in which he would say how much he enjoyed seeing his father.

She said she begged Ballard to take the boy out of the state when Hurricane Katrina was coming, but Ballard told her the flights were booked and the highways were jammed. Loe's mother eventually picked them up at a Baton Rouge shelter and took them to her house in Tennessee for a few weeks.

Ballard then asked her whether the boy could return with him to New Orleans to help clean up and gather their things. She said her mother trusted Ballard and said they were doing well, so Loe agreed. Then the communication went quiet, she said.

Calling the authorities

After weeks of failed attempts, she finally got through to Ballard, who told her, "You're never going to get him back. He's doing good down here, " she recalled.

She said she later called a local sheriff's office in Arizona, the New Orleans Police Department, the Louisiana State Police and the state Department of Social Services. At every turn, she said she was told that without formal custody, Ballard had just as much right to keep the boy as she did.

"There's nothing I could do except sit back and wait and wait for the next phone call, " Loe said.

Sporadic phone conversations from then on would come from anonymous numbers. If she asked detailed questions about where the boy was going to school or where they lived, Ballard would hang up.

Outside a Metairie apartment complex last week, Ballard questioned why Loe wouldn't come to New Orleans and pursue the matter further with police, if she really couldn't find him. He said the arrangement was that she would keep the daughter and he would take their son.

Daniel Ballard was booked with cruelty to a juvenile; he says the case has been blown out of proportion.

"It wasn't any short-term thing. It was where he was going to live, " Ballard said.

He said his son had attended school since he came to Louisiana, but he would not say where. The boy might have fallen off a bike or gotten hurt while playing, but he said he knew of no broken bones.

"I know the situation, and I'm not trying to put it out there, " he said. "I love my son. We're a team. My son is not with me, and that is the most painful, lonely thing I have gone through in my life."

Though calls were tightly controlled, Loe said the boy told her they were having a great time. She remembered hearing about fishing trips and dirt bike shows.

Boy helped cut grass

Much of what happened during the four years is still unclear, she said. Loe said she's reluctant to ask too much too soon, allowing the boy to revisit the experience at his own pace.

From what she has gathered so far, Ballard and the boy lived in several apartments across the New Orleans area and had only recently gotten the RV. He told her that his father owned several inflatable "space jump" birthday party toys available for rent. They had also bought some lawn mowing equipment, and the boy said he was helping out.

After St. Bernard Parish Constable Tony Guerra discovered the boy while serving an eviction notice two weeks ago, the boy led Sheriff's Office detectives to Loe. She flew to New Orleans on the night of Sept. 13 to meet with state Department of Social Services officials, and the next morning she was in St. Bernard Parish court at a custody hearing.

She said the state had questioned whether she could take the boy home, arguing that more investigation was needed.

"They were making me sound like I was a bad person, like I did bad for my son, " Loe said. "I can't go down to Louisiana and start at one corner of the state and go looking. The state of Louisiana said there was nothing they could do, and then when (the boy) is in trouble, 'Yeah, I should have done more?' "

Court records of the custody proceedings in St. Bernard were confidential because the boy is a minor. Interim state Judge Robert Klees, of the 34th Judicial District, handled the case but said he could not comment.

A spokesman for the Department of Social Services said the agency cannot comment on specific cases because of confidentiality regulations but that the department works with the courts to make sure children are placed in safe environments.

Loe said the Louisiana Department of Social services is closely monitoring the living situation in Arizona and that child protective authorities in her state will also be checking up regularly.

Sense of confusion

Even after his return to Arizona on Sept. 14, the boy wonders what was wrong with the way he was living and questions why his father had to go to jail, Loe said.

Less than a week into his new life in Arizona, the boy is enjoying plentiful food and lots of time with the PlayStation, Loe said. But the limited communication over the years has led to a sense of resentment and confusion for the boy, she said.

"He asked us questions like, 'Why didn't you ever call us?' " she said. "His dad was telling him that he wasn't ever going to see us again, that we didn't love him."

She's planning group counseling for the family to reintegrate the boy into their lives.

Loe plans to start the boy on an online home schooling program to brush him up on four years of missed classes.

"I want him to be able to get a high school diploma. His future, he thinks, is cutting grass, " she said. "He's going to be 15 in November, but I have the next three years to let him find out that life is great for him."