Dads like DEMETRIOS ANGELIS are more common than you might think. Part of their abuser arsenal is recruiting the children into their own camp, in order to further isolate and punish the mother for all her "sins"--real or imaginary. Angelis is the type who must control the children's affections in order to sustain his own fragile little ego. This is different from "parental alienation syndrome," an imaginary mental condition that blames mothers almost exclusively, while ignoring the psychological dynamics of domestic violence almost entirely.
Also note that Daddy is far from the poor, church-going "victim" of his wife's (alleged) infidelity--which is how he presents himself. In truth, he appears to be nothing more than a classical abuser, a cold-blooded killer who didn't even shy away from murdering the mother of his children right in front of the 8-year-old daughter. How is that a poor little victimized father? It's not. It's time we also realized that guys like Angelis are very often master manipulators. He was doing a bang up job of grooming himself as the Perfect Daddy deserving of full custody. But he just couldn't stick to the plan, and his violent impulses took control before he achieved his aims. But either way, his plan was to defeat and eliminate the mother--which judges and other court personnel should be more aware of, but seldom are.
In addition, let's get real about this so-called "physical altercation." Look at the evidence. Dad had "superficial injuries"--probably from Mom trying to save her life--while Mom is dead. This was not an "altercation"--two equally matched people weren't duking it out. It was a classic domestic violence homicide.
http://www.ottawacitizen.com/news/Daughter+watched+father+killed+wife+west+side+apartment+prosecutor+tells+jury/3674769/story.html
Daughter watched as father killed wife in west-side apartment, prosecutor tells jury
Crown claims man killed wife, then took children to church
By Andrew Seymour, The Ottawa Citizen October 15, 2010
A child will describe for a jury how she watched her father straddle her mother and put his hand over her mouth until she died, a prosecutor said Thursday on the opening day of the man's second-degree murder trial.
Demetrios Angelis then gave the then eight-year-old girl and her three-year-old brother presents and took them to church, where, a fellow parishioner testified, they graduated from Sunday school.
When they came home, police arrived, assistant Crown attorney Julie Scott told a jury in her opening statement in the trial.
Officers would find the body of Lien Li Angelis, 42, lying face-down in a rolled-up rug in the bedroom of apartment 509 at 30 McEwen Ave. on June 8, 2008.
At the time of the killing, Demetrios and his wife had been going through an acrimonious separation, Scott alleged, fighting over custody of their two children even as they continued to live together.
Scott told the jury that Demetrios had filed court documents less than two weeks before the killing, seeking sole custody and child support.
Two days before the killing, he told a co-worker his wife had been cheating on him for years. He accused her and her lover -- a man she had met in Montreal before marrying her husband 15 years earlier -- of trying to kidnap his young son, said Scott. He was also angry that his wife had been videotaping him for use in family court, Scott alleged.
Co-workers said an "erratic" Demetrios -- who called police on his wife in April -- became uncharacteristically dishevelled and unshaven in the days leading up to the killing, Scott told the jury.
In the weeks and days before his wife's death, Angelis had told others that he had to do all the child-rearing and that his wife paid little attention to the children.
Lien told others that her husband was alienating the children from her and keeping her from having a meaningful role in their lives and was attempting to portray her as an unfit mother, Scott alleged.
The two also fought over money, with Demetrios complaining that Lien would not share in the family expenses and saved all her income, Scott said. She complained that he was a spendthrift and she was putting money away for the children's education.
Tensions from the deteriorating relationship boiled over on June 8, with an "angry confrontation escalating into a violent physical altercation" that resulted in Demetrios receiving superficial injuries and Lien lying dead in the living room in front of the two children, Scott alleged.
The Crown intends to prove Demetrios intended to cause his wife's death; Demetrios has pleaded not guilty.
Police photographs introduced into evidence showed drops of what was later determined to be Demetrios' blood on the living-room carpet next to a plastic green wagon piled high with toys and under rows of framed family photographs. More of Demetrios' blood was found on the rug Lien was wrapped in and under her fingernails, the jury heard.
Neighbour David Kenny testified that on the morning of the killing, he heard a loud argument sometime between 7:30 and 10 a.m. While he couldn't make out the words, it was followed by a bang and what he believed to be a man yelling the word "bitch."
The fight lasted about five minutes, Kenny said, before things went silent. Dikea Merziotiz testified she later saw Demetrios and his two children at the Greek Orthodox church, just like every Sunday for the four years she had known him.
Demetrios was wearing oversized sunglasses and seemed to have blemishes on his face, she said. He went to the front of the church to see his two children graduate from Sunday school.
The fact Demetrios' wife wasn't there didn't surprise Merziotiz, because Lien hardly ever came, she said.
"I always admired him for coming to church with his two children, alone," she said.
The trial continues today.
aseymour@ottawacitizen.com
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