I have seen this pattern as have other survivors. Daddy has to have total control--but it's on his terms. Either he has to own the child and exclude the mother (which sometimes includes homicide as a gesture of total bloodlust control)--or he completely rejects and disowns the children. Either way, he sets the agenda. He just won't play nice with others either way.
So it doesn't surprise me that dad BRUCE SERVEN--who beat his second wife who wanted a divorce, then murdered their 22-month-old son--also totally rejected the children he had with his first wife and had "issues" with child support. The two behavior patterns are just different sides of the same coin.
http://www.freep.com/article/20111026/NEWS03/110260328/Ex-wife-Dad-Farmington-Hills-murder-suicide-seemed-OK-he-wasn-t?odyssey=mod%7Cnewswell%7Ctext%7CFRONTPAGE%7Cp
Ex-wife: Dad in Farmington Hills murder-suicide seemed OK, but he wasn't
Oct. 26, 2011
BY ERIC D. LAWRENCE
DETROIT FREE PRESS STAFF WRITER
The ex-wife of a man authorities said shot his young son before killing himself Sunday described her former husband as emotionally distant but not violent.
Carissa Fleming, 32, of Ft. McCoy, Fla., said she was shocked to learn of the incident from her former mother-in-law. Authorities said Bruce Serven, 34, shot and killed his 22-month-old son, Lucas, in a Farmington Hills apartment early Sunday.
"I'm dumbfounded," Fleming said. "Why did he have to take the innocent child? ...
"(There are ) so many questions running through my mind, and it's like: why, why, why, why?"
Serven died of a perforating gunshot wound to the head, and Lucas died of a shotgun wound to the chest, according to the Oakland County Medial Examiner's Office. Serven's death is classified as a suicide, and his son's, as a homicide. Police have said that officers responded to a 911 call from Serven's wife, Dawn Serven, at 12:11 a.m. Sunday -- she told them she fled after her husband assaulted her. Dawn Serven is Lucas' mother. Authorities said the couple were going through a divorce.
Police Chief Chuck Nebus said officers began to enter the home, but withdrew when they heard three gunshots. The officers set up a perimeter while waiting for a special response team to arrive. The bodies were discovered after police entered the apartment off 9 Mile west of Drake about three and a half hours later, Nebus said.
Fleming, who said she and Serven had three children ages 10-13, said she wants to reach out to Serven's wife. "As a mother, I'm here for her if she wants to talk," Fleming said.
Fleming and Serven were married in Genesee County in 1998 and divorced in 2002. She said they moved between Florida and Michigan several times, and that Serven was involved with numerous jobs -- from an Internet company to being a mall security guard -- during that time.
Serven's various social media sites tout him as someone pursuing a wide range of interests and offering expertise in a variety of fields, everything from food service to Internet businesses and entrepreneurship.
She said the various smiling images of Serven on those sites are "his way of telling people, 'I'm fine,' but he's really not."
Fleming said she believed that Serven's life had become more difficult since last year because he had issues paying child support. She said he had basically shut her children out of his life.